Last week Tuesday, there was this conference that was happened in Safari Park Hotel that I went to cover. So after registering at the reception, I decided to drop my business card in the glass bowl on the table! As I made my way to the conference room, there was this muzungu who stopped me, to get my card. After I had given it to him he asked whether I had 10 minutes and since the conference hadn't started, I thought why not?
"You are a Journalist? Would you mind working in Dubai? One of my companies is looking to hire more staff and you appear well placed for the job. " When dealing with corporates, you also become one! So I asked him what his company deals in Blah blah blah because to be sincere, this Dubai bit interested me! So he suggested, why not go to the restaurant by the pool and talk more?
At the pool this nigga placed a parket of cigarettes on the table and asked me whether I smoke. "Cheki mzae, Si uwache maswali ya ujinga?" The ninjas in my head started conversing! What do you drink? "water!" hahaha. Manjaa nlikuwa naskia! Hata wazae kwa tumbo karibu waanze kuongea! "wee, kwani leo hatupati kakitu?" He convinced me to take juice of which I ordered apple juice!
Wacha sasa aanze kuroroa! "I own a multi million dollar business. Even the Nairobi Tavern being constructed in Upper Hill is mine! I want you to join me in the Dubai company! How much do you earn in your current job?" Hapa napo kuna beshte yangu fulani aliniambia nsijiangushange nkiulizwa mambo ya mshaara na prospecting boss! "60,000". Eish! I thought I had raised my bar high enough! "600 dollars? How do you even cope with such an amount here? How do you even buy Clothes and the likes because you strike me as someone who really loves fashion? The job market here is really poor, right? That is the salary I give to my tea boy in Dubai!" Huyu mzae alikuwa ameanza kunikatsia walai! Na sasa nngemuambia my real salary si angeshuta!
"I hold a master of Psychology and I have studied you have a lot of worry in your life! You are struggling a lot and ain't sure about your future! How old are you? You look 22/23? Good for you! I want to be the fortune you badly want! Do you have a passport? You Africans really amuse me! How can someone not have a passport? How much would It cost to get a passport? I will give you 40,000. And how much would you need now for yourself? I will give you 60,000? Uuuwiiii! Thitima! "Lakini mbona majaribu yamekuwa sehemu ya maisha yangu? Anyway...
" If you come to work in my company, I will give you everything you need! Your gym membership will be paid! You will shop anywhere you want! You will fly the world with me because I am an International businessman and you will be my PA. You will come here to visit your family from time to time and your family will also come to visit you from time to time. Become the fortune your family needs! " At this point, the ninjas in my head assembled for an urgent meeting! Huyu mzae tumfanyie? Kwani anadhani tunaishi kwa mti alafu tunalalanga njaa?" The ninjas settled on holding it for a bit..
" You should see my house in Dubai! You will love it! There is however something about me! I have all these things but I am lonely! I had a Nigerian girlfriend but she couldn't stand my travelling lifestyle and so she left! I am aging and really need someone in my life! I don't know whether that person is Mical. What if I die today? I really need someone to inherit my business. Hehehe... I didn't laugh though and neither did I roll my eyes!
He realised I was in deep thought! "What are you thinking about? You don't need to suffer in life anymore! God has send me to rescue you! Just make up your mind, shake my hand, and we have a deal!" Deal tena? I looked straight into his face and said, "Picture this... I walked to you and asked whether you had 5 minutes and then I told you that I was in urgent need that needed 100 dollars and I would refund it in two days time because my money was stuck somewhere! However genuine I sounded or however little the money I was requesting for was, would you give it to me? He said being a stranger, he wouldn't! I told him that he had answered himself because he was a stranger and I could not trust him just like that. He gave me his card and asked me to contact him in case I changed my mind!
I told him that I needed to get back to the conference because that was my main business there! As we walked back, he asked how long it would take for me to make up my mind and I told him that would be 62 days and also I need God's intervention! He said God had already intervened by sending him to me! He said he was expecting me that evening but I told him I would think about it! A cab was to pick me anyways!.
During tea break, I saw him walk in another lady and I figured he was on a mission to gather beautiful African girls! He called me on Thursday afternoon to say that he would be leaving on Friday evening and he wanted to see me that evening at Safari Park Hotel! Mimi hiyo jioni nlijiendea zangu cocktail Intercontinental hotel nkamuacha akaukie huko na hizo multi million dollar businesses zake!
Mtu kwanza anicofirmie kama kuna Nairobi Tevarn inajengwa Upper Hill alafu akuje tustrategize juu bado nko na business card ya huyu mzae! Sipendangi ujinga mimi!
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