TIMES HAVE CHANGED BUT PEOPLE HAVEN'T!

Stories are told. Stories of our great great grandparents and perhaps our parents. Perhaps because our parents were somehow digitalised. Okay. These stories that are told may sound as fairy tales but so they are told. Stories of marriages that started with  abductions. Picture your grandmother at your age or even way younger than you being grabbed by four strong men on her way to the stream and being lifted in the air as she throws feeble kicks of a dying horse amidst wails to unperturbed villagers. Then being locked up in a room for a whole week, refusing to eat but settling in marriage eventually. Bearing kids and maybe also having to welcome a co-wife without objections. Yes! They lived happily ever after.

Those days when life was so real. History books say that fire was lit from stones, right? Messages were sent by the blowing of horns, lighting fires and even word of mouth by messengers who had to run all the way and mark you bare footed to deliver a message. Those days when there were no clothes. One might say our old men faced harsh conditions but they were comfortable or even happier. Love was natural. They ate natural food and that's why they lived for long. Chronicle ailments did not exist.

Are the missionaries and colonialists to blame for the current trends? They came and brought Africans knowledge which was very commendable but they also brought in the Western culture. Now cousins can have sex without any guilt. Women can cheat on their cheating husbands because they are advocating for equal rights. A fifteen year old girl can sleep with the sisters husband in her absence. A male can marry his own kind because you know what? "It happens in America. So if Americans are okay with it, who are you?" Condoms are distributed in primary schools because those kids even with their small tits and beardless chins can sex like pros and so they need to be introduced to protection.

Did cheating exist in the past? Maybe my history teacher forgot to mention it during the lesson or maybe I had gone to respond to the call of nature for I don't remember it being mentioned. All I remember is that male chauvinism existed and so women had no voice. Polygamy by the men was as normal as going to sleep at night. But still life was more peaceful then, right? Today we even have a self proclaimed Team Mafisi Sacco which gives cheating identity. I can remember recently a famous radio personality stating that cheating is not for broke guys who can't the list support their partners. He said it is for the wealthy who can support their wives plus three other women comfortably. We also have team Mafisilets so I hear. These ones approach people's husbands or simply "kula kwa macho". They crush on guys.

A simple question was asked recently during a morning show. "If you found both your parents cheating, whom would you be so infuriated with?" Some callers said that they would condemn their mothers because it is very wrong in society for women to cheat but okay for men because they are naturally polygamous. Others said that they would condemn both parties because cheating is wrong while others said that they would mind their own business. Fact is morals have been eroded. Girls smoke, party and drink like their fathers while men clean, cook and gossip like their mothers.

Marriages these days in most cases don't happen because of love. Guys marry for convenience purposes. Ladies drop the loves of their lives to settle down with husbands whom they know with them their future and that of their kids is secured. In fact the marriage starts with, "Call mum/dad/bro/siz/uncle/aunt and tell him/her that you are not going home tonight for you are helping out a friend who is in dire need." Yes! "a friend in dire need!" In other cases guys are forced to settle down together because of kids! That is why these days cheating is on the high because guys are not happy in the marriages but they just stay because of the kids anyway.

Men these days also move into their girlfriends houses, today with a shirt and then tomorrow with everything they own. Since they don't have jobs, they just stay at home while their girls wake up very early in the morning to go to work and pay all the bills. Aren't men supposed to be the providers and women their helpers? Would anyone blame this woman who has assumed the responsibilities of the house when she cheats with a guy who treats her better? Instead of shaging her the whole night and staying at home the whole day, boss! Invest that energy in something productive. In fact, men who can't provide have no right to sex! Why stay in the neighbourhood gossiping with your fellow idle men whole day while your girl is busy buiding the nation? Ain't you  even ashamed to call her your girl? These idle men are the ones who call ladies trying to make it in life whoes.  Treat your woman like a queen and you will awaken the beauty in her. She will go out of her way to make you happy.

And ladies, if you show your men that you are independent, they will never go out of their way to give you a serious treat. They pretend to respect independent  ladies but fact is they have made their calculations. They don't want to spent. Why do you think they cheat on the boss ladies with campus chics who don't hide the fact that they are golddigging? A lady needs to be treated away from home by her love once in a while. Even the wealthiest of the ladies get gifts from their husbands or boyfriends. Now if a man can't even take her girl to the salon for her hair to be fixed, why pride in her when she is always looking good yet you are not the reason behind her beauty?  Your chic doesn't have a job yet she is always cutely dressed. Don't get content that she is being supported by her parents for the pocket money is never enough! You could be a spanner boy escorting a queen to her king. Utaachwa kwa mataa siku moja. Watch out!

We also have these ladies who get very good husbands but since they feel so educated, they leave everything to their house girls. Sorry to say, but husbands are like kids and they need attention from their wives. They need to eat food prepared by their wives. They also enjoy wearing clothes washed by their wives. How can a woman grant the duty of washing her husbands boxers to her Domestic Manager as they are called nowadays? Get a DM like Siphrosa of Auntie Boss and she will help you manage even your husband. If you are a house wife, do the duties of a house wife. Carrier women can be excused because they tend to be exhausted when they get home but this does not mean they should completely neglect their duties. Even Iddah Odinga with all the wealth and servants creates time for Raila!

The thing is, times have changed but people haven't. We might be living in the digital era but we are somehow still attached to the times of our great grandparents. We might admire the lives of those celebrities on social media and Main Stream Media but that's them, and this is us. Let us not move with change like the wind but rather weigh what to pick from the change. Yes change is constant but it is not by force!